Hello Friends,
As you probably know by now I will no longer be on the podcast Long Walks and Robots. Well you would know that if you have been listening to the last few weeks. Anyways I wanted to write this post to make sure it’s clear that I’m not leaving for any major dramatic reason. It’s mainly that my free time is limited. Each week over the last year has become harder and harder to get the show done. I care about the quality of the show and I don’t want that end of it to change. Also in a sense the show has become a chore and that is not how I want to feel going into recording each week either. My time is stretched thin but it should never feel that way on the podcast.
My friend Shane and I created this show together and I’m very proud of the work we did. The show may seem very basic but a lot of work goes into it. It was and remains a passion project as we produced the show with our own equipment and money. No ad revenue to be found here. At the end of day it’s just two idiots babbling about movies and TV shows. But it is our passion for that creative medium which I think made the show special. Even though I’m a co-creator/founder of this podcast Shane and I felt it was best for the show to continue and evolve. A new voice being added to the podcast can change the dynamic quite substantially.
I plan to pop into episodes here and there when possible. If you were only listening to the podcast because I was on it. I urge you to listen beyond me and see where the show goes. Who knows it might be better……probably not though! ;) This post will essentially remained pinned to this page. It has the first 50 episodes for you to listen at your leisure.
I will be continuing my monthly podcast Sex! Drinks! Video Games! so make sure to keep an eye out for new episodes of that.
Once upon a time on Long Walks and Robots...
The robots break down the performances of a couple of Philip K. Dickheads in "A Scanner Darkly." Two questions. How are they eating through those hoods, and are those cartoon boobs? Then Shane Clifton Colins Jr'd Ryan. Huh? They watched "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood." Ohhhh... he Clifton Colins Jr'd him. Right. Wait, what?
Moving on. The bots also talk TV. I remember seeing TV capitalized as a kid. But as an adult, I feel like I've seen it lower case. What if... my edible just kicked in? Regardless, it seems as though Marvel's What if series is rather hit or miss. I mean, how do you mess up zombie superheroes? That's like having the rights to make a Batman film and then making a crappy movie... oh.
Speaking of mediocrity, the season 5 two-episode finale of Rick and Morty didn't seem to stick the landing on an already shaky season. Perhaps there are too many cooks in the kitchen. Or rather, maybe there is a colossal conspiracy birthed from the very mind that gave genesis to this parody property. Is Rick and Morty even considered a parody anymore? Was it ever? It was right? Cause "Back to the Future." How much did I take??
A truly jam-packed send-off for Ryan Bot. Damn! Two dash words in one sentence! This man spittin'. But seriously, a fantastic year-long voyage in cinema with our bot, and he will be missed. Bruh, did you just drop another dash? Now you just flexin'.
Have no fear young robots! Shane will return in thrice weeks (I don't think that's how you use that word) to crack open some cold movies and elaborate to fruition. Will he be alone? Will Filipino Steve make a triumphant return? Will there be a female companion? Prolly not. But maybe! But, prolly not. Now go see Shang-Chi!!
You messed up that last sentence reading to yourself, didn't you?
Until then... Please Stand By!!
This Week on Long Walks and Robots...
Ahh Mr. Black, you fail to disappoint once again. The bots get all oily in the lug nuts over the lost Lethal Weapon storyline known as "The Last Boyscout." Yippee ki..... what's that? Oh! That's not the movie? Wait... really? Ok, if you say so. Well, not to be outdone by the bullets, tits, and guns; Gandolfini and Redford bring the heavy in the military prison drama, "The Last Castle." When the warden's away, the inmates will play. Be honest, have you ever even heard the word trebuchet?
What if... the show's improving? The stories of Marvel's newest small-screen endeavor seem to be trending vertically. Episodes 3 and 4 provide Shane with a renewed outlook for the latter portion of the season. However, Ryan is one more disappointment away from "heading to the store for some smokes."
Also, with Shang-Chi now in theaters, Shane is going to brave the mega-city to imbibe cinema the good old-fashioned way. Will he return with refueled hope for the new phase future, or perhaps with a nifty new variant? Only time will tell.
All this and more on Long Walks and Robots...
Enjoy!!
This week on Long Walks and Robots...
Maniac! The bots get uncomfortable watching a dark slasher through the enormous eyes of everyone's favorite hobbit, Elijah Wood. Then Ryan and Shane transition to the lighter side of stalking via Chevy Chase and Christie Brinkley on the road to Walley World. We takin a Vacation y'all! And yeah, that's how you spell Walley World. I googled it. So there.
What if... this show didn't exist? New Marvel you fickle mistress. A bland showcase falls short of what could have been a spectacular display of diverse animated mediums. The bots question the future vision of the MCU, and speculate on the projected box office success of films to come.
Finally, Ryan springs some somber news that may sour the upcoming 20th anniversary. Hang in there buddy! If Magic can beat it, so can you! #1984
All this and more on Long Walks and Robots...
Enjoy!!
This Week on Long Walks and Robots...
Nicolas Cage!! That's right, the prodigal bot has returned to intrigue and delight us once again. "Pig" becomes the next entry in an ever-engaging library of films in a kaleidoscopic career. Speaking of bots, Peter Sarsgaard voices a delightful one opposite Frank Langella in "Robot & Frank." Apparently, Susan Sarandon makes a wife so nice you'll try to marry her twice.
What if... Marvel, Rick, or Morty aren't good anymore?? Another folly in Ryan's eyes is a moderately enjoyable 30 minutes for Shane. The new Disney Plus series offers a slow starter built off a foundation of easter eggs. Coupled with a lackluster 5th season of Rick and Morty, it seems like the boy's favorite toys are broken. With great creativity comes heavy criticism. Perhaps climbing to such heights provides too great a fall. Only time will tell.
Later, Korra makes a return to the conversation, Ryan finds out where Julia Stiles has been, and Shane discovers the secrets of interdimensional travel.
All this and more on Long Walks and Robots...
Enjoy!!
This week on Long Walks and Robots…
The would be greatest comic book title of all time is actually the names of this week’s movies. A true divide of the cinematic spectrum; from blockbuster event to an indie darling. The Suicide Squad is dripping with style and James Gunn-ie goodness. While Captain Fantastic leans more to the existential exploration of right and wrong, steeped in grief, and sprinkled with jokes. I sense some ironic parallels. Who knew?!
Later the bots delve into some Netflix flare. Since Shane was unable to take in this week’s Rick and Morty, our robosapiens share their revelations after viewing the first five episodes of Kevin Smith’s Masters of the Universe. They also question whether it’s humor or cringe that sets “I Think You Should Leave” in its own comedic category.
Also, Shane learns how life works, kisses and tells, and did they mention they like Tara Strong? Well they do.
All this and more on Long Walks and Robots…
Enjoy!!
This week on Long Walks and Robots...
On their way back to the present our Robots made a little pit stop in the birthplace of modern-day action, the 80's. Ryan and not that Shane Black gush over the golden age of that Shane Black. They break down not just one Lethal Weapon, but two! Well, Lethal Weapon 2. Although they do talk about the first Lethal Weapon, so 2 and two I guess. Yeah... I don't know! I'm gettin too old for this podcast. As if that wasn't a steamy enough adventure, they also get a good glance at Ray's Win-Stones. Huh Huh! They watched Sexy Beast! Ok, moving on.
Marvel, Marvel, Marvel. You almost had us. With seconds left on the clock, Loki pulls out a win by announcing a second season! While this post-credits series extension alleviated Shane's pacing concerns, it fell short of Ryan's hopes for the show and the Marvel television landscape. Ripples shmipples. Is Spider-Man almost here??
The boys also talk Rick and Morty, babble about bidets, and discover the elusive legend of Jeffrey Boam.
All this and more on Long Walks and Robots...
This week on Long Walks and Robots...
It's a Marvel packed episode. We delve deep into what, why and how Black Widow should matter to anyone at this point. Also we are pretty sure Task Master is a man, even though he is a she? Floating bases in the sky and all the other nonsense packed in. Plus Shane tells us about how he is colorblind and had a job where he needed to color correct. Makes sense right?
Later we chat the penultimate episode of Loki and wonder why Marvel loves having their characters fight storm clouds? Harry Potter vibes, Daniel Radcliff as Wolverine and Maybe and X-Mansion in the distance? So many Easter eggs and un-comfy blankets.
Then we wrap up with a strange episode of Rick and Morty, Which is saying a lot for that show.
All this and more on long Walks and Robots...
Enjoy!
This week on Long Walks and Robots...
Lightning strikes as Ryan finally bestowed a true visual gift unto Shane by way of Bad Trip. Unfortunately, the moment is soured by the lament of Michael Bay's latest pyrotechnic plot device, 6 Underground. What lacks in its narrative substance is almost saved by, adrenochrome dream, Ryan Reynolds in a true to stereotype performance.
Moving on to their glorious purpose, the boys dig into episode 3 of Loki. Surprise surprise, Ryan didn't love it. However, does a spirited case made by his robotic counterpart leave him with a change of heart?
Lucky for our protagonists, they had a little dessert this week by way of the splendiferous return of Rick and Morty. A vibrant showing of creativity displayed in the season opener has blessed the bots with the warm and fuzzies of the inaugural seasons.
While Shane's thoughts seem to elude him throughout, he tries to get to the "bottom" of intimacy. We also find out he's a bit light in the loafers around the ominous opening melody of The X-Files. Oh, and Ryan finds the delivery of apocalyptic news via a video monitor to be inconsequential. Neat!
All this and more on Long Walk and Robots...
Enjoy!!
This week on Long Walks and Robots...
Theoretical physics, no script, no problem! Ryan finds "the fun of movie" in Coherence. Big fan of one location for all your movies? Great!! The second film of this week won't miss the mark, well, they do, but the parallel doesn't... Free Fire. That's the second movie. Moving on.
Time is moving quickly, can you believe it's already the second episode of Loki?? Even more unbelievable, the boys have differing opinions about the show. Crazy right? But like a battered female stereotype, Ryan keeps showing up for the abuse. You don't get it, Marvel is different now. Look, he said he quit drinking and he's gearing up for that assistant manager job down at the Del Taco. You know, the one on 3rd. So yeah, things should be better now, you'll see.
Also, Shane finds out he's ugly, politely shits on a child actor, and the Robots find the cure for alcoholism!
All this and more on Long Walks and Robots...
Enjoy!!
This Week on Long Walks and Robots...
The boys get the best of both worlds, brains, and brawn! They break down the fantastical 80's Val Kilmer classic, Real Genius. Arnold who? Matilda Lutz says hold my White Claw, as she becomes the nouveau killing machine seeking revenge... in Revenge. If you think Val's lack of sideburns is creepy, you should meet the cool guys in Morroco.
Also, in the final week before we get that sweet sweet Marvel skeet, our little robots squeeze the last bit of pop culture talk out of the tube before all become irrelevant at the feet of the great Loki.
As if that wasn't enough, Shane tells a tale of mystery and urine, Ryan rejoices at the curtailing of Jupiter's Legacy, and we find out how to actually kill Bill.
All this and more on Long Walks and Robots...
Enjoy!!
This week on Long Walks and Robots...
Look! Up in the sky? It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a big gorilla wolf muthaf#&@a!? The boys watch unsupervised teens shank alien wolf spores in Attack the Block! Also, what would How Stella Got Her Groove Back be like with karate? According to Ryan, it's the movie The Paper Tigers. The bots also get a dose of 90's era martial arts wrapped in a 2020 package.
With two weeks left until our boys are able to suckle at Marvel's teat once again, they offer up more suggestions to tide you over during what seems to be an eternity between FATWS and Loki.
Plus, Ryan takes us back to the land of Dendretopia, mourns the loss of Charles Entertainment Cheese, and Shane ponders the void of an infinite hand mirror of buttholes.
All this and more on Long Walks and Robots...
Enjoy!!
This week on Long Walks and Robots...
Shane tries to find the heart missing from modern-day cinema by contracting Tin Cup. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be music to Ryan's ears. Also, the movie thread conspiracy grows with the reveal of another appearance of Hiroyuki Sanada. The boys look to see if Snyder can resurrect his relevance with his Army of the Dead. If you liked this version, just wait till they release the D'Elia Cut.
As the boys continue to Netflix and chill, they discuss the looming ominous void in contemporary media. Love, Death, and Robots seems to be the newest victim in the hollow feeling left by present-day storytelling. Shane is also excited by the news that Ryan has decided to persevere and wade slowly through the remaining episodes of Jupiter's Legacy. Will his opinion be swayed, we'll find out soon.
Later Ryan displays some perfect pronunciation, adds a couple more actors to the Kevin James zone, and wait... did Shane's edible just kick in??
All this and more on Long Walks and Robots...
Enjoy!!
middle-aged
This week on Long Walks and Robots...
If you thought the updates to Call of Duty were lackluster, you should see Without Remorse. Lucky for the boys, they also got to revisit the Michael Jai White passion project Black Dynamite. When ya pop the top, the panties drop!
While the boys wait for the Outlaw Johhny Black to finally premiere, they see if Jupiter is worth a legacy. If the pilot is any indication, it ain't. They also offer a few new and reiterated binge recommendations while we eagerly await the return of some Disney Plus-ery.
The Robots also lament the creativity in ignorance, fear the Dark Phoenix, and wonder where in the world Ryan San Diego is going.
All this and more on Long Walks and Robots...
Enjoy!!
This week on Long Walks and Robots...
Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the Christian on a cameraman. The boys watch the Norwegian found footage film, Troll Hunter. They also pay homage to the late great Bob Hoskins on the anniversary of his passing with the cinematic martial arts of Unleashed. Sweet, sweet is good!
With the airing of the last episode of Invincible, the Robots are now fresh out of shows. However, have no fear, cause they've got some fun recommendations to hold you over until the June premiere of Loki. Wait a second, Omni-Man is Nolan Grayson??!!
Also, Ryan's hacker is back, Shane's a psychic, and Elon Musk stole Jeff Bezos' hair.
All this and more on Long Walks and Robots...
Enjoy!!
Welcome back to Long Walks and Robots
Ryan makes his long awaited return after his internet finally got turned back on. Unfortunately AJ was unable to rejoin the podcast so things are basically back to normal.
The robots play a little catch up and wonder why we pay so much for digital "rentals". Shane attempts to get 10 second reviews from Ryan on the movies he missed while he was gone. Then we smash into Godzilla vs Kong and discuss if human characters matter in these spectacle films. After that we break down Falcon and the Winter Soldier. The robots are enjoying the show but is this show going to matter for the long term MCU plan?
All this and more on Long Walks and Robots!
This week on Long Walks and Robots, Halloween! Yes, that lovely time is upon us; jack o lanterns, scary movies, and the opinions of white guys, Spooky! Ryan watched the 2008 David Mamet Action/Drama "Redbelt," while Shane took in the 2017 Action/Thriller starring Charlize Theron, "Atomic Blonde." Ryan also shares his unique opinions regarding Star Wars and lays out his top 6 scary movies to round out the last week of October leading up to All Hallows Eve. Enjoy!!
Late upload this week as we had a few technical difficulties. But here we are a day late and a hooker short...This episode of the podcast not brought to you by Apple!! We contemplate Only Fans and break down our movie suggestions from episode 4. Ryan watched the Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe (yes Mr. Potter again) driven 2016 Adventure/Comedy "Swiss Army Man". While Shane partook in the Russian born 2020 Horror/Sci-Fi "Sputnik". We also touch on "The Boys", Korra, and "the people's" supercut. Basically no video games this time, boo. Enjoy!!!
In episode 3, we discuss our movies tasked from episode 2. First, the Horror/Slasher "classic" "Sleepaway Camp", "starring" Mike Kellin. Second, we dive into the 2019 Action/Comedy "Guns Akimbo" starring Daniel Radcliffe, written and directed by Jason Lei Howden.
Episode 4 opens with Ryan's spam spy attack followed by our breakdowns of last episode's tasked movies. Shane watched Jason Lei Howden's Comedy/Horror from 2015, "Deathgasm." While Ryan had the distinct pleasure of watching Kevin Smith's "Tusk" from 2014, starring Justin Long and Michael Parks. We also begin our journey into Korra, and praise Odin as The Boys are finally back in town. Oh yeah, we talk about GTA 5 too.